Here I am, in this place of waiting. It took me a while to realise what this place was. At first, I worked so hard to move, keeping my destination in sight and getting frustrated when I did not seem to be making headway. Until finally, just like the Israelites in Jeremiah's time; I heard His voice push past all the false prophets in my head, telling me I was to stay. I will say it is not the directive I wanted to hear from my love, my father, my guide. I wanted Him to say, just like He said to Abraham,go; but instead I felt like David, annointed to be king by God's prophet, slaying giants but still hiding in caves from those who want to take my life. However, it is not my life I was fighting for,it was my dream:
"Why is it taking so long?" my entire being was asking me, and I had no idea what to say.
"I want to take a drink of that water so I never thirst/ from a source that's beyond measure when I have new birth/ I want to tap into that treasure spread its wealth on earth./ Nifunu kula mizu mizu, I want to be rooted." Mizu-Pompi
Those are lines from a song I discovered about a month back. It's timing was rather strange. I had just lost a friend,a young man who loved to minister through music and I had questions. I was really sad but also inspired by Mac's life, how he gave it all. I asked what the purpose for my life was. What was the point of just going to work and my only contribution to the world being making someone else richer? This song played on radio early in the morning and it just brought to remembrance the opening verses of Isaiah 55
"Wait and listen, everyone who is thirsty! Come to the waters; and he who has no money, come, buy and eat! Yes, come, buy [priceless, spiritual] wine and milk without money and without price [simply for the self-surrender that accepts the blessing].
2 Why do you spend your money for that which is not bread, and your earnings for what does not satisfy? Hearken diligently to Me, and eat what is good, and let your soul delight itself in fatness [the profuseness of spiritual joy]."
I wanted to find my purpose,my calling, my place; that which the Lord set before the foundations of the earth for me. I was restless but sad as well. I was simply in a place of asking. I had been asking the Lord for direction concerning certain things in my life but the death of my friend just intensified the desire. I have had "Mizu" on replay since the day I found it. I want to take a drink of that water so that I never thirst and I so want to tap into that treasure and spread its wealth on earth. Earlier on, I wrote a post: Papa knows best, about how my God knows and sees even that which I do not and I will wait on His leading. What I did not know is how long I would be in the waiting place.
So, here I am, in the waiting place,fellowshipping with my Lord. Here I am in the waiting place, learning things that require me to sit and listen. Here I am in the waiting place,finding contentment in Him. Here I am in the waiting place, finding once again that I was made for His delight and just like Martha,I hear Him asking me to sit, to choose that which is greater, it is not always about the run around. Here I am in the waiting place, learning that it is okay if all I do in life is to delight myself in Him. Here I am learning, my life is not my own,that I am dead,now Christ lives. Here I am learning how to live from Him vs living for Him. Here I am being the Beloved and trusting He will not let go of me nor leave my side; and here in Him is where I am.