Wednesday, April 16, 2014

This one's for you



I have been feeling exultant these past 2 days,it started Monday evening. I find that I am so easily amused and very deeply so. It is as if a couple of stand-up comedians have taken residence on the inside of me and just keep tickling me, like maybe Trevor Noah is constantly whispering lines in my ear, as if I am the victim of a nitrous oxide explosion and I just can’t help the joy… I feel so light I might just fly. My breaths are deep, my smile is wide and my laughter…well, I laughed myself to tears upon remembering some awful awful cover of John Legend’s all of me that I found on the internet.


Do you ever have one of those “it gets over me in a rush/and I realize that I love you so much…” moments? I would like to dedicate this post to a very special and close friend of mine whose name I will not mention because why should I?   We were chatting on Skype and I felt this amazing feeling rise up within me and for the first time in the not so short time we’ve known each other, I said to myself “I really love this person”; of course I’ve had moments where I look back on time spent together and I appreciate how much I enjoy his company but today, it felt more like “awww…you’re like my honey bunny special munchkin”, and we are not even the mushy type, not that kind of friendship.



I love our conversations. Today, I read an article about how to appropriately and effectively ask the culture fit question during interviews. I am a recruiter so of course such things do have a way they grab my attention. One of the questions suggested was, on a beautiful day when you are relaxed and chilling with your best friend, what kind of things are you having a deep and serious conversation about?” Or something like that. First of all, you were the first one to come to mind when I read that question, (because it seems there are not many I talk to much by choice) and how we have conversations about alternate universes and people-like operating systems and time travel, and how effortless and interesting it all is even when we argue and disagree. You are my best conversation friend right now, I am most likely not yours but that’s okay, I do not have to be and that is awesome!

I love how remarkable you are when I am beating down on myself or hating on the world for stuff that hasn’t gone right. How, you, with a straight face tell me that in an alternate universe or in a different time line, that girl whose life I wish I had because she has it all together and is following her dream and living mine too, wishes she were me and how when I groan about how jealous I am you say, still with so much conviction how there are so many out there saying the exact thing about my life, so jealous of me and you present a really good argument.

I think your passion for your work is inspiring. I think everyone should love their work like that; better yet, everyone should have something they are passionate about for a job. I used to wonder about your love for batman, that was until I watched the dark knight and the dark knight rises all in one evening. I think I get it and I think I agree. You are batman. I cannot explain it, but I get it. Aside from the obvious, I mean who wouldn’t want to own such an R&D department, with such cool gadgets?!!!

I have met and interacted with a reasonable number of poets, picked their brains on some issues and what they like to read. You are by far the least likely poetry lover I have had the privilege of meeting; and the pieces you choose and like and know and share and talk about are special and not so ordinary. Some of your thoughts are like that too, I have ever asked you if you realized how poetic you are, when you were simply stating the kinds of feelings listening to some music gave you, and you gave imagery that some of us struggle to find for our written work

Aaahhhh…music, hmmm…we have some in common, we have great taste, of course; and then there is music I absolutely love that you can’t stand and I find that extremely amusing. I always know you will not like these songs when I start to talk about them but somehow I still want to mention them; and when I defend them, citing message and relate ability, you give me others that could easily replace mine. How is it that you have a song for everything? I say you have very high standards, you say those songs are just bad.



I can’t come up with an exhaustive list because words can’t fully define a person or a relationship or a feeling. I think words succeed most at describing other words. So today, from deep within me, allow me to attempt to convey this indescribable appreciation I have for you my mr. high standards. There, you can go ahead and blush.

Oh and cats…why do you like cats? Anyway, every joke about cats is funnier because I know you like them and we all know the internet loves cats and I love the internet, it is all one big circle of things that do not necessarily benefit the world but okay…so, thank you!!!

Tuesday, April 1, 2014

la douleur exquise


My muse left me
and I had to let go
I did one of those
if you love something
let it go
and if it was meant to be...
but how long must I wait
before I know for sure
if you will return

My muse left
with a piece of me
and now my verse is void
of the light that he inspired
feelings so raw
they jump off the pages
take me back in time
and beg me to bring you back
Where are you?
I loved the way I loved you
I loved you shyly
always wanting to be next to you
but keeping my distance
not sure I could still manage
to hide what I couldn't explain
I loved you certainly
taking it one day at a time
Without wavering
embracing what you stirred in me
I loved you deeply
from a place I did not know I had
a river sprung and ran steadfast
at times slow
Sometimes gushing
and taking all thought and reason with it
I loved you simply
longing to serve you
honoured to have
an opportunity to give to you
any bit of me
I loved you purely
Jealously guarding you
from the demons of my past
slaying dragons
that dared to advance towards your castle
I loved you...
I love you without reason